Saturday, February 23, 2008

Joke of the Day - What is your wife's name? - Lawyer Joke

St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven."
Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who had been a butler."
I was a good father," he answers."
Yes, but you were a drunk all your life. In fact, you were so bad you even married a woman named Sherry. No admittance."
St. Peter then turned to the next man, a carpenter, and asked him the same question.The carpenter replied that he had worked hard and taken good care of his family. But St. Peter also rejected him, pointing out that he had been an impossible glutton, so much so that he married a woman named BonBon. At this point the third man, who had been a lawyer, stood up and said, "Come on, Penny, let's get out of here."

Funny Attorney Commercial - Lawyer Jokes

This is one bad lawyer commercial but it is also quite funny, especially the pictures at the beginning:

You are a Lawyer if - Lawyer Joke

You Might Be A Lawyer If....
You are charging someone for reading these jokes.
The shortest sentence you have ever written was more than eighty words long.
You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill.
Your other car is a BMW.
When you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer.
When your wife says "I love you," you cross-examine her.

When you Know that you Need a new lawyer - Lawyer joke

Warning Signs that you Might Need a Different Lawyer
1) Your lawyer tells you that his last good case was of Budweiser.
2) When the prosecutors see your lawyer, they high-five each other.
3) Your lawyer picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
4) Your lawyer tells you that he has never told a lie.