Friday, June 16, 2006

Kiss my Wife

What’s this daily charge for ‘fruit’? The hotel guess asked the manager.
“We didn’t eat any.”
“But the fruit was place in your room every day. It isn’t our fault you didn’t take advantage of it.” “I see,” said the man as he subtracted $150.00 from the bill
“What are you doing”? Sputtered the manager.
“I’m subtracting 50 dollars a day for your kissing my wife.”
“What? I didn’t kiss your wife.”
“Ah,” replied the man, “but she was there.”

Real Advertisments from Newspapers - Really Funny

Here they are! Just picture it! They were found in real newspaper ads:

-A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
-Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
-For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
-Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
-Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
-We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
-Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
-Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
-Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
-The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic facilities.
-Man, honest. Will take anything.
-Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
-Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.
-UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
-Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.
-Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.
-Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.
-Illiterate? Write today for free help.
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