Bent It

Two old drunks were lapping them up at a bar.

The first one says, Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.

"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."

"So", says the second drunk, "What's your point?"

"Well", says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"

Inspecting the rear axle

A middle-aged businessman took a young woman half his age as his wife. The fantasy of having a young woman in his bed soon became a nightmare when he found that he could not last long enough to satisfy his young bride.
His wife, as understanding as she was exciting, told him that all was well even if he was quick to get out of the saddle.
Determined to satisfy this sweet young thing, the man visited the doctor to get some advice.
"Doctor, I can't seem to hold back for very long when I make love to my young wife and I can't satisfy her. What can I do?"
The doctor smiled, patted him on the shoulder, and said in a professional manner, "Try a bit of self-stimulation before having intercourse with your wife and you'll find that you'll last longer and ultimately satisfy her."
"Okay, Doctor. If you think that will help."
Later that afternoon, his young bride called him at work to let him know that she would be attacking him at the front door when he arrived home.
"Be prepared, my darling. I'm going to ravish you," she cooed over the phone.
Undaunted, the man decided to follow the doctor's advice. But where? In the office? The Xerox room? What if someone walked in on him?
He got in his truck and began the journey home. Soon he decided he would find a spot on the road to pull over, climb underneath the truck and pretend to be inspecting the rear axle, and do the deed there.
A moment later, he pulled over, crawled beneath the truck, closed his eyes tightly, fantasized about his young wife, and began his "therapy".
A few minutes later, just as he was about to complete his therapy session, he felt someone tugging on his pants leg. Keeping his eyes tightly shut to avoid ruining the fantasy he was enjoying, he said, "Yes?"
"Sir, I'm with the Police Department. Could you tell me what you are doing, please?" said the officer.
"Yes, officer, I'm inspecting my truck's rear axle," he replied confidently.
"Well, why don't you check the brakes while you're down there. Your truck rolled down the hill a few minutes ago."

Pool Prank

This one is one of the best pranks I have seen lately. Enjoy! You will surely do it to your friends!


Pool Prank - Click here for more amazing videos

We Found Another One

A family Doctor got a call from a frantic woman in the middle of the night, “Doctor; come quick! My son swallows a condom”. The Doctor replied, “ I’ll be there in few minutes”
While the doctor was getting dress, the women call again. “ Doctor, you don’t have to come now” The Doctor asks “Way? Did he vomit the condom out?”
“No” the woman said, “ My husband found another one”.

The Rabbi's Towel

An older Jewish man who was a long-time widower decided to remarry. Because he was quite well off , there were several young ladies in his village who were interested. He settled on the youngest and prettiest one. On their wedding night, however, the man had problems “pleasing” his new wife. Despite all the efforts he made—and they weren’t bad for an old man—his pretty, young wife just lay there as if nothing was happening. Perplexed and saddened, the next day the old man went to see his rabbi. Rabbi,” he said, “As much as a I try, I cannot please my new wife in bed. What should I do?” The rabbi pondered the question for a moment and then came up with this solution. “Tonight, have my son come to your house while you’re in bed with your wife, and have him wave this holy towel over both of you.” The old man agreed and took the towel the rabbi gave him.

That night, just as the old man and his wife were getting into bed, the rabbi’s son arrived. The old man immediately got to work on his wife. Meanwhile, the rabbi’s son did as he was instructed, and waved the towel over both of them. But it was to no avail. In spite of all the work the old man went to, and in spite of the holy towel, his pretty, young wife just lay there, exactly as the night before, as unresponsive as a log. After some time, sweating and exhausted, the old man turned to the rabbi’s son who was still waving the towel above him. “Give me that towel,” he said “and you take my place!” And so that is what they did. They switched places, with the rabbi’s son going to work on the old man’s wife, while the old man waved the towel above them. Well, it didn’t take long for the old man’s wife’s attitude to change. Soon she was wailing and hollering with pleasure, as the rabbi’s son pounded away at her. And as the old man waved the towel above them he said, “ You see? This is the way to wave a towel!”

Poor Little Girl

One day there was a poor little girl. Her mother didn’t have any money to buy her underwear. One day the little girl was wearing a little dress and playing up in a tree. A priest walked by and looked up, concerned he called the little girl down and said: "Little girl take this $100 and go buy you some new underwear and a pretty dress."

The little girl ran home and told her mother what happened.
Seizing the opportunity, the next day the mother was up in the tree without any underwear.
The priest walked by and called her down and said:
"Here’s $2 go and buy yourself some razors!"