Grapes and Doughnuts

A doctor joke and a food joke, all in one:

A doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take a case if he felt he could not help them. The Browns came to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physical exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, "Yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you."

"On your way home from my office stop at the grocery store and buy some grapes and some doughnuts. Go home, take off your clothes, and you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bulls eye in your wife's love canal. Then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue.

"Then next, ma'am, you must take the doughnuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. Then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and consume the doughnut." The couple went home and their sex life became more and more wonderful.

They told their friends, Mr. & Mrs. Green that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the Greens and said he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.

Then he told the Greens the bad news. "I cannot help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex life is as good as it will ever be, I cannot help."

The Greens pleaded with him, and said, "You helped our friends the Browns, now please, please, help us."

"Well, all right", the doctor said. "On your way home from the office, stop at the grocery store and buy some apples and a box of cheerios... "

Poor Strawberries

Q) Why were the little strawberries upset?
A) Because their parents were in a jam!

Cannibal Jokes

Cannibal Jokes 1:

Q: What is a pregnant woman for a cannibal?
A: Kinder Surprise

Cannibal Jokes 2:

An American, a Russian and an African meet. The American says:
“Whenever we want a rush we go to a second hand car dealer and rent cars. After that we go through the mountains at over 100 miles per hour!”
“And where’s the rush?”
“One of the cars has no brakes”
The Russian guy then says:
“We do it differently! We take guns, put them to our heads and fire!”
“And where’s the rush?”
“One of the guns has a bullet in the barrel”
The African then replies:
“When we want a rush we go get some women and make them go for oral sex”
“And where’s the rush?”
“One of them is a cannibal”

Cannibal Jokes 3:

At a cannibal restaurant:
“I would like a plate of brain”
“No problem, we have missionary brain - $10 a plate, explorer brain - $15 a plate and cop brain - $50 a plate”
“Why so much for cop brain?”
“Do you have any idea how many cops we need for a plate of brain?”

Dane Cook Burger King Skit

Funny video of Dane Cook in one of his stand up comedy shows, making fun of Burger King!


Dane Cook. - Funny video clips are a click away