Lucky Olympic Win | Funny Movies

This guy was really lucky. Watch the clip to the end:

Wrestler Getting Erection in Match

This one is quite funny and it occurred in a match between Hulk Hogan and the Iron Sheik. As Sheik was going for his signature submission move it was obvious that he had an erection:

WrestlingGoneWrong.com - The Iron Sheik gets an erection from wrestling Hulk Hogan

Retaliation

In the heat of the game, one of the players threw a vicious punch the victim was all set to get -stuck into him when the referee rushed up and held him back.
'Now then, O'Hara! You know you mustn't retaliate!'
'Come on ref!' said O'Hara. 'He retaliated first!'

Golf and the Pine Tree - Sport Joke

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours
to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast,
he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was
about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if
he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being
able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the
ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.
Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself
with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his
ball - and directly between his ball and the green. After several
minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said,
"You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit
the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it
thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally
lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age
that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

Professional Terms - Sport Joke

The pro quarterback was petitioning the court to have his recent marriage annulled. "On what grounds ?" questioned the Judge, "This court does not take annulments lightly."

"Non-virginity," replied the quarterback, "When I married her, I thought I was getting a tight end, but instead, I found that I had married a wide receiver."

Painful but funny weigths

Weightlifting is not a sport to be playing with but it can be so funny at times:

Funny Weights - The funniest videos are a click away

You Know You Watch Too Much Wrestling When

* When you go to a Japanese restaurant, you start a "USA! USA!" chant.
* When you girlfriend dumps you, you tell her she couldn't "play with the big
boys," and that she will never get past mid-card status.
* When you search and search the bible for the book of Austin.
* If you can actually remember Sting's last public words.
* If on a job application, you state your residence as "parts unknown."
* If you quit your Job because you have to find your "Smile."
* When you're getting beat up in a bar fight, but you honestly believe that
with a little crowd support, you can turn this thing around.
* If you hit your co-worker in head with a chair while your manager is
distracting him.
* When you look for Sting on the back of the milk carton during breakfast.
* When a guy steals your girl, you consider it an angle.
* When you rack your neighbor's dog.
* When you attend a graduation, and yell "Ooooooh yeah!" when 'Pomp and
Circumstance' plays.
* When you are involved in a bar fight with a guy twice your size and you
think your best line of attack is putting the Tongan death grip on him.
* When you put up your wife or girlfriend up in a card game for 30 days if you
lose.
* When you wear your Macho Man foam hat out in public.
* When you win an award and immediately spray paint "nWo" on it.
* When you rate women on a scale of Chyna to Sunny.
* When you begin to shake someone's hand in public but then hesitate to look
for the crowd's response.
* When you do heel turns on your best friends for no reason.
* If whenever you walk into a party you tell them to "cut the music."
* When anytime anybody asks you a question, you "grab the mike" and yell,
"MEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAN GEEEEEEEEEEEEEENEE!"
* When you die you mustache blond while leaving your beard black.
* If you keep waiting for run-ins during boxing matches.
* After an argument with a friend, you shake hands, hug each other and then
after you raise both yours and your friend's arms in the air, as he looks to the
side, you clothesline him.
* If you wonder why Bob Backlund's campaign for the presidency never got any
press.
* If you carry a foreign object in your underwear.
* When you go into work you insult everyone you see just to draw heat.
* If you wore spiked shoulder pads during a football game.
* If you loose a job, you change your look and name before starting a new
one.
* If you suspect your best friend is just setting you up for a heel turn.
* When before a fight, you give away a pair of sunglasses to a kid.
* When you go to a funeral and assume that the deceased just lost a Casket
Match.
* When your king-size bed has ropes and turnbuckles surrounding it.
* If you paint your face and don't speak to your co-workers
* If you get into an argument with a friend at work and challenge him to
a loser must retire match.
* When you see a fight in the streets and call the moves.
* If at a ceremony at your work to give out awards to the employee of the
year, you "turn" and slam a chair across the recipient of the award's
head...then you immediately grab the mic and start talking about how YOU
deserved the award.
* If you wondered why Vince didn't borrow money from Ted DiBiase to
prevent WCW from "buying" its wrestlers.
* You refer to everyone you talk to as "brother."
* Your children are named Crippler, Hitman, and Hollywood.
* You get hoarse on purpose so you can sound like the Macho Man.
* You hold a wrestling tournament for an aluminum foil belt.
* You get kicked off the school wrestling team for choke slamming your
opponent.
* You cried when the Giant went nWo.
* You took bagpipe lessons just so you could play Roddy Piper's theme music.
* You get in fights with people who say wrestling is fake.
* You fenced in your bed, so it feels like being in a steel cage.
* After your parents ground you for a week, you refer to them as "heels."
* You dress your dog up as a "Hulkamaniac."
* You use the phrase "Too Sweet" more than 45 times daily.
* You try to impress your friends by telling them Bobby Heenan jokes.
* You think "No Holds Barred" should win an Oscar.
* Your greatest accomplishment in life is mastering the sleeper hold.
* You roped in your backyard and you get together with friends to throw chairs
around.
* You requested "3:16" as your new license plate.
* You think a tilt-a-whirl looks fun.
* You put white-out on the faces of your action figures, and then draw black
marks on their faces.
* You give crotch chops to the opposing team during a softball game.
* You light your bed on fire and fight your brother in it.
* Your teacher gives you detention, you give them a Stone Cold Stunner and
walk out of class, flashing your middle fingers.
* You leapfrog over people while playing football, then you turn around and
clothesline them.
* You publish a shirt that say's, "Jay Leno 1-0 Who's Next?"
* Every time you sit down at a table you consider how easily it might break if
you were to moonsault it.
* After you beat someone up, you spray paint their back.
* You chokeslam your cat.
* You elbow smash your dog and turn him/her over for the three counts.
* Instead of reading a bedtime story to your kids, you put them in a sleeper.
* When you put your kids to bed, you tell them to "Rest In Peace."
* You get fired from work then show up the next day wearing a mask.
* You walk down the aisle at a church giving high fives as the people hold up
signs and chant your name.
* You won't come out of your room until your parents play your theme on the
radio.

Some Sports Jokes

Joke 1:
A college football lineman married one of the team's cheerleaders. The coach
said, "You're such a big guy--why did you marry such a petite woman? She's no
bigger than your hand."
"That's right, Coach," replied the lineman, "but she's much better!"

Joke 2:
A man applied to Sheffield Wednesday FC for a job on the administrative staff.
'What we're really looking for here,' said the chairman, 'is what you might call
a "chief worrier"!
Someone to worry about things like falling attendances, finances, league
promotion, violence on the terraces, and so on. For a chap like that we'd be
prepared to pay £75,000 a year. Interested?'
'Certainly,' said the applicant.
'But - you'll pardon me for saying this, I hope - where on earth is Sheffield
Wednesday going to find that sort of money for a job like this?'
'Ah!' said the chairman. 'That would be your first worry.'

A couple of Sports Jokes

Joke 1: A Golf Joke

A guy goes golfing with his girlfriend. As he tees off, she steps into ladies' teebox and gets hit in the head with his drive. She is pronounced D.O.A. and taken to the morgue.
The coroner calls him in and says, "She definitely died from a blow to the head caused by the golf ball. But the only thing we can't understand is why was there a golf ball in her rectum?"
"Oh," he replies, "that must have been my mulligan."

Joke 2 - Sex Joke

A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or bronze.
"Silver," she said.
"Why not gold?"
"Because I want you to come second for once!"

NBA Funny Moments

Here is a clip of some funny moments in the NBA:


Nba Can Be Very Funny - The funniest videos clips are here

Dynamite

A physically large guy meets a woman at a bar, and after a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place.
As they are making out in the bedroom, ready for the act, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See there, baby? That's 1000 pounds of Dynamite!"
She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging legs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.
Finally, he drops his underpants, and she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.
He catches her before she is able to run out the door, and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to leave?"
She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite, and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

Wrestling Main Event

Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said,
"Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"
The wrestler nodded in agreement. Now, to the match: The American and the Russian circled each other several times looking for an opening. All of a sudden the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the American and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold! A sigh of disappointment went up from the crowd, and the trainer buried his face in his hands for he knew all was lost. He couldn't watch the ending. Suddenly there was a scream, a cheer from the crowd, and the trainer raised his eye just in time to see the Russian flying up in the air. The Russian's back hit the mat with a thud, and the American weakly collapsed on top of him, getting the pin and winning the match.The trainer was astounded! When he finally got the American wrestler alone, he asks,
"How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!"
The wrestler answered,
"Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold, but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of balls right in front of my face. I thought I had nothing to lose, so with my last ounce of strength I stretched out my neck and bit those babies just as hard as I could.
"So!" the trainer exclaimed, "that finished him off did it?"
"No, but you'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own balls!"

Sports Entrance exam

This joke was taken from http://www.ahajokes.com/spo07.html

UNIVERSITY ENTRANCE EXAM
SEC FOOTBALL PLAYER VERSION

 (Time Limit: 3 Weeks)

1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient
Babylonian Empire with particular
reference to architecture, literature,
law and social conditions

-OR-

give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to:
(a) build a bridge
(b) sail the ocean
(c) lead an army or
(d) WRITE A PLAY

4. What religion is the Pope? (please check
only one answer)
(a) Jewish
(b) Catholic
(c) Hindu
(d) Polish
(e) Agnostic

5. Metric conversion. How many feet is
0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is
on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given?
(approximately)

8. What are people in America's far north
called?
(a) Westerners
(b) Southerners
(c) Northerners

9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton

10. Six kings of England have been called
George, the last one being George the
Sixth. Name the previous five.

11. Where does rain come from?
 (a) Macy's
 (b) a 7-11
 (c) Canada
 (d) the sky

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory
of Relativity?
 (a) yes
 (b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National
Anthem for what country?

15. Explain Le Chatelier's Principle of
Dynamic Equilibrium

 -OR-

 spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.

16. Where is the basement in a three story
building located?

17. Which part of America produces the
most oranges?
 (a) New York
 (b) Florida
 (c) Canada
 (d) Wisconsin

18. Advanced math.
If you have three apples how many apples
do you have?

19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corp.)
stand for?

*You must answer three or more questions
correctly to qualify*