Violin Jokes - Q&A and Regular Violin Jokes

Question and Answer Jokes about violins:

- What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
- There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.

- How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
- The dog knows when to stop scratching.

- What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
- No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.

And some regular violin jokes:

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

A violinist says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I can play you just like my violin."
His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!"

Square Dance jokes

Square Dance Joke 1:

How many square dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Eight. Square dancers do everything in groups of eight!

Square Dance Joke 2:

THE NEW SQUARE DANCE

Up With The Petticoat,
Down With The Pants.
In With The Pecker,
Everybody Dance.

Girls With Rags On,
Up Against The Walls.
Guys With A Hard On,
Promenade The Halls.

Girls Grab Your Partners
Firmly By The Balls.
Drag Him Down The
Length Of The Halls.

Make Him Holler,
Make Him Shout.
Put Your Pretty Ass
Up Against His Snout

First Lady Go
Second Lady Pass
Third Lady's Finger
Up The Fourth Guy's Ass

Finger Out
Promenade The Halls
Now Release The
Poor Guy's Balls

Then Down With The Petticoat
Up With The Pants
This Is The End Of
The New Square Dance!

Poor Strawberries

Q) Why were the little strawberries upset?
A) Because their parents were in a jam!

More Question and Answers Jokes

Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.

Q: If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
A: Wet.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick.

Q: Where do you find giant snails?
A: On the ends of their fingers.

Q: What do you call a pig with three eyes?
A: A piiig.

Q: What goes Oh, Oh, Oh?
A: Santa Claus walking backwards.

Q: What do elephants have that no other animal has?
A: Baby elephants.

Q: What do you call a hippie's wife?
A: Mississippi.

Q: What did the ocean say to the beach?
A: Nothing, it just waved!

Bill Clinton Jokes

Q: Have you heard about the new Bill Clinton doll?
A: You pull a little ring and it NEVER tells the same story twice!

Q: Why did a Bill Clinton send an unsigned check for a hundred dollars to a
charity?
A: He wanted to make an anonymous contribution.

Q: Why is Hillary suing Bill for divorce?
A: Because he's doing to everybody what he should only be doing to her.

Q: Do you know why they outlawed mini skirts in the White House?
A: So Hillary's balls wouldn't show!

Q: Is Bill Clinton heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual?
A: None of the above. He suffers from ego sexuality since he is constantly
screwing himself.

More Lawyer Jokes

Here are some interesting question and answers lawyer jokes that I really liked. Hope you will too and have a good laugh!

Q. What's the difference between a vulture and a lawyer?
A. The vulture doesn't get Frequent Flyer Miles.

Q. What's the difference between a cat and a lawyer?
A. One's an arrogant creature that will ignore you contemptuously unless it thinks can get something out of you. The other is a house pet.

Q. Why don't sharks ever attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Here are 2 more jokes that are not Q-A but pretty funny:

A lawyer was out hiking with a friend when they encountered a mountain lion. The lawyer dropped his pack and got ready to run.
"You'll never outrun a hungry mountain lion!" exlaimed his friend.
"I don't have to outrun him," replied the lawyer. "I just have to outrun you!"

The next day a coyote came upon that same mountain lion licking a pile of dung. "What on earth are you doing?" the coyote asked in amazement. The mountain lion looked up dolefully. "I ate a lawyer yesterday, and I'm still trying to get the taste out of my mouth."