Violin Jokes - Q&A and Regular Violin Jokes

Question and Answer Jokes about violins:

- What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
- There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.

- How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
- The dog knows when to stop scratching.

- What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
- No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.

And some regular violin jokes:

"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant.
"You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter."
"Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"

A violinist says to his wife, "Oh, baby, I can play you just like my violin."
His wife replies, "I'd rather have you play me like a harmonica!"

Happy Holidays - The Rap Video

Pretty cool and funny video. Some dude singing a song he composed called "Happy Holidays". This guy is pretty funny and he can rap so it is fun to watch. Interesting funny movie:

Marry a fingerstyle guitarist

Joke 1

A young, single woman is feeling very ill and has an extensive series of tests done by her doctor. After weeks of tests and more tests, the doctor calls her in. He tells her, I have to be frank with you the test results are not good. You have an incurable disease, and it is terminal. I would think you have no more than six months to live.
Devastated, she sobbingly asks the doctor, is there anything I can do?
The doctor says, well, if I were you I would run out and marry a Fingerstyle Guitarist ASAP.
She asks, How will that help my illness?

The doctor says, "Oh it won't help your illness;
but it will make that six months seem like an eternity!"

Joke 2

A man walks up to a classical guitar recitalist who is sitting down reading music. Can you read this for me he said. Of course said the recitalist. And there goes the guitarist playing a nice Tarrega study. Then the man gives him a contemporary piece. He plays that as well. Then another piece was handed to him. He begins to play then complains of stomach pains. He later realized he had gave him a sheet of fingerstyle guitar music.

Music Joke

A man is walking around the streets of New York one day when he spies an old friend of his from college. "Boris!" he yells. "I haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?"
"Well," Boris replies. "I am the piccolo player for the International Orchestra."
"Spectacular!" the man replies.
"It is not what you might think, my friend. We play for the king of England, he loves the music. He says 'Fill the instruments with gold!' and they fill the tuba with gold and they fill the trombone with gold, and me with the goddamn piccolo. We play for the queen of France. She loves the music; she says 'Fill the instruments with silver!' and they fill the tuba with silver and they fill the trombone with silver, and me with the goddamn piccolo. Then we play for the czar of Russia. He hates the music; he say 'Shove the instruments up their asses!' and the tuba doesn't fit and the trombone doesn't fit. AND ME WITH THE GODDAMN PICCOLO!"