Bill Clinton, Newt Ginrich and Dan Quayle were riding in a car in the mid-west.. Along came a tornado and picked up the car and threw it 100s of miles away - As they were climbing out of the car and checking themselves for injuries, Newt Gingrich exclaimed that he thought they were in OZ - he said "I'm going to see the wizard and ask for a heart", Dan Quayle said "I'm going to see the wizard and ask for a brain".....Bill said "Where's Dorthy?"
Showing posts with label Politics Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Politics Jokes. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Joke of the Day - Politics in a BAR
A man wearing a Democratic pin walks into a bar and sees a picture of President Bush hanging behind the bartender. He calls the bartender over and says, "You should take that picture down. George Bush is a blight upon this nation. He should be impeached."
The bartender, a life-long Republican, is completely offended. "Why you liberal piece of garbage. How dare you come into my bar and tell me how to run my business!"
"Listen, I'm the customer, so I'm always right." the man says. "That picture offends me, so I want you to take it down."
"That tears it," the bartender says, "How would you like it if I came into your bar and told you what to do?"
"Well, you'd be the customer, so you'd be right," the man says.
"Fine, then let's switch places," the bartender says.
So, they do. The man takes the bartender's place behind the bar, and the bartender walks outside, waits a moment, and then comes back inside. The bartender sits at the bar and says to the bar, "You should take that pin off. The Democrats are destroying our country with their liberal agenda."
"Sorry," the man says, "but we don't serve Republicans here."
The bartender, a life-long Republican, is completely offended. "Why you liberal piece of garbage. How dare you come into my bar and tell me how to run my business!"
"Listen, I'm the customer, so I'm always right." the man says. "That picture offends me, so I want you to take it down."
"That tears it," the bartender says, "How would you like it if I came into your bar and told you what to do?"
"Well, you'd be the customer, so you'd be right," the man says.
"Fine, then let's switch places," the bartender says.
So, they do. The man takes the bartender's place behind the bar, and the bartender walks outside, waits a moment, and then comes back inside. The bartender sits at the bar and says to the bar, "You should take that pin off. The Democrats are destroying our country with their liberal agenda."
"Sorry," the man says, "but we don't serve Republicans here."
Monday, September 24, 2007
Liberal Democrat
Politics Joke:
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a liberal Democrat.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats too.
Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was but wanting to be like their
teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with
the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because
I'm not a liberal Democrat."
Then, asks the teacher, what are you? "Why I'm a proud conservative
Republican.", boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy
why she is a conservative Republican.
"Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive
government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are
conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your
Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a liberal Democrat."
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a liberal Democrat.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were liberal Democrats too.
Not really knowing what a liberal Democrat was but wanting to be like their
teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks.
There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with
the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because
I'm not a liberal Democrat."
Then, asks the teacher, what are you? "Why I'm a proud conservative
Republican.", boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Lucy
why she is a conservative Republican.
"Well, I was brought up to trust in myself instead of relying on an intrusive
government to care for me and do all of my thinking. My Dad and Mom are
conservative Republicans, and I am a conservative Republican too."
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your
Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a liberal Democrat."
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Clinton's Dogs
President Clinton is out jogging, and he encounters a man with some puppies. Clinton asks the man what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Democrat puppies, Mr. President."
Clinton thinks that is so great that the next day he brings the first lady to see these puppies for herself. He asks the man to tell Hillary what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Republican puppies." The president looks puzzled and says, "Yesterday, you told me they were Democrat puppies." The man smiles and says, "Yesterday, they were. But today, they have their eyes open!"
Clinton thinks that is so great that the next day he brings the first lady to see these puppies for herself. He asks the man to tell Hillary what kind of puppies they are, and the man responds, "They're Republican puppies." The president looks puzzled and says, "Yesterday, you told me they were Democrat puppies." The man smiles and says, "Yesterday, they were. But today, they have their eyes open!"
Friday, July 06, 2007
George Bush and Condi
Here is a very funny videos of a montage of discussions between George W. Bush and Condi:
Bush & Condi - Click here for more free videos
Bush & Condi - Click here for more free videos
Bill Clinton Jokes
Q: Have you heard about the new Bill Clinton doll?
A: You pull a little ring and it NEVER tells the same story twice!
Q: Why did a Bill Clinton send an unsigned check for a hundred dollars to a
charity?
A: He wanted to make an anonymous contribution.
Q: Why is Hillary suing Bill for divorce?
A: Because he's doing to everybody what he should only be doing to her.
Q: Do you know why they outlawed mini skirts in the White House?
A: So Hillary's balls wouldn't show!
Q: Is Bill Clinton heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual?
A: None of the above. He suffers from ego sexuality since he is constantly
screwing himself.
A: You pull a little ring and it NEVER tells the same story twice!
Q: Why did a Bill Clinton send an unsigned check for a hundred dollars to a
charity?
A: He wanted to make an anonymous contribution.
Q: Why is Hillary suing Bill for divorce?
A: Because he's doing to everybody what he should only be doing to her.
Q: Do you know why they outlawed mini skirts in the White House?
A: So Hillary's balls wouldn't show!
Q: Is Bill Clinton heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual?
A: None of the above. He suffers from ego sexuality since he is constantly
screwing himself.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
George Bush and Dick Cheney Talking
George Bush and Dick Cheney are talking, when Bush suddenly complains "I hate all the dumb George Bush jokes people tell about me."
Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.
Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
Cheney, feeling sorry for his "boss," says "Oh, they're only jokes. There are a lot of truly stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Cheney takes Bush outside and hails a cab.
"Please take me to 29 Nickel Street to see if I'm home," says Cheney. The cab driver, without saying a word, drives them to 29 Nickel Street.
Cheney looks at Bush and says, "See! This guy is really stupid."
George Bush agrees. "He really is a dummy. There was a pay phone just around the corner. You could have called instead."
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