Why Speak English? | Nationalities Joke

A friend of mine is an officer in the naval reserve.
A few weeks ago, He was attending a conference that included admirals in both the US and the French navies.
At a cocktail reception, my friend found himself in a small group that included an admiral from each of the two navies.
The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learned English.

He then asked. "Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you having to speak French?"

Without even hesitating, the American admiral replied.
"Maybe it is because we arranged it so that you did not have to learn to speak German."
The group became silent.

Joke of the Day - Irish Jokes - Robotic Barman

A popular bar has a new robotic barman installed.
A guy comes in for a drink and the robot asks him: "What's your IQ?"
The man replies: "130."
So the robot goes on to make conversation about physics, astronomy and so on.
The man listens intently and thinks: "This is really cool."
Another guy comes in for a drink and the robot asks him: "What's your IQ?"
The man response: "100." So the robot starts talking about TV, the weather and so on.
The man thinks to himself: "Wow, this is really cool."
A third guy comes into the bar. As with the others the robot asks him: "What's your IQ?"
The man replies: "80."
The robot says: "So, how are West Ham doing these days?"

Irish Jokes - Alcohol Irish Jokes

Alcohol Irish Joke 1

Murphy lay in hospital covered in bandages head to foot - with just two little slits for his eyes.
'What happened to you?' asked Cassidy.
'I staggered out of the pub and a lorry hit me a glancing blow and knocked me through a plate glass window.'
'Begod,' said Cassidy. 'It's a good job you were wearing those bandages or you'd have been cut to ribbons!'

Alcohol Irish Joke 1

A woman and a man driver are involved in a horrific collision, but amazingly both escape completely unhurt - though their cars are written off. As they crawl out of the wreckage, the man sees the woman is blonde and strikingly beautiful. Then the woman turns to the man and gushes breathily:
'That's incredible - both our cars are demolished but we're fine. It must be a sign from God that we are meant to be together!'
Sensing a promise, the man stammers back, 'Oh yes, I agree with you completely!'
The woman goes on, 'And look, though my car was destroyed, this bottle of wine survived intact, too! It must be another sign. Let's drink to our love!'
'Well, OK!' says the man, going with the moment. She offers him the bottle, so he downs half of it and hands it back.
'Your turn,' says the man.
'No, thanks,' says the woman, 'I think I'll just wait for the police.'

TurboTax The Rap Video

Here is another funny rap movie I enjoyed from the same dude as before with Happy Holidays. Hope you love it as much as I did! Well, you need to be American to feel the pain of this movie:

Learn to Speak German - Nationalities Joke

A friend of mine is an officer in the naval reserve. A few weeks ago, He was attending a conference that included admirals in both the US and the French navies. At a cocktail reception, my friend found himself in a small group that included an admiral from each of the two navies. The French admiral started complaining that whereas Europeans learned many languages, Americans only learned English. He then asked.
"Why is it that we have to speak English in these conferences rather than you have to speak French?"
Without even hesitating, the American admiral replied.
"Maybe it is because we arranged it so that you did not have to learn to speak German."
The group became silent.

The American Meets The Swedish Girl

At a local college, there was a dance.

A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America, we call this a hug". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."

A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In America, we call this a kiss". She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."

Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich". She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we usually put more meat in it."